i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
