There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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