I used to practice getting hit by cars.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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