You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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