Don't make out with my wife yet
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
