I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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