forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
