The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My vagina is very pro this idea
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize