Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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