That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
