Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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