we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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