You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize