I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
