My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
