it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize