ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
