You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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