brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need to calm my uterus...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
