He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize