Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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