Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
