Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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