dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
