farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
