I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
