Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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