Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
