you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
