theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize