dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
