There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
