Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize