i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Can you bring me the toilet please
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
