The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
