I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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