That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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