CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
