we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
