so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
