so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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