WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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