i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize