the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
