what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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