Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
