And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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You. Win. At. Life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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