im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
