I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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