D3 body, D1 cock
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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