Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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