i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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