420 ftw
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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