bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
