And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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