I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
