forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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