I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
