Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Your cock deserves a montage
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize